My Sister
There I was sitting in the old wooden swing that hung so gracefully from a rusty red and white candy stripped metal frame. It was the frame from an old swing set my twin bothers, Ronnie and Donnie, and I had when we were younger. Our dad had taken the frame and converted it by hanging what I call a porch swing on it. Many a day my brothers and I would sit anxiously in that swing while we waited on our dad to come home so we could ask his permission to go somewhere or do something with our friends. Mom was notorious for telling us we would have to get our dad’s approval for most everything we had asked to do. At times we thought it was her way of saying “no”; knowing that our dad may not show up in time for us to pop the question to him. But regardless, we had the faith of a child and sat there waiting on him for what seemed like hours and sometimes days. I say days because at times it was days before we seen him. You see my father had a drinking problem and his best friend was a can of beer or a bottle of whiskey. As a result, there were times he didn’t come home until wee hours of the morning; long after we were in bed.
But this particular day it was different, I knew for certain my dad would be pulling into the drive momentarily. As I sat there swinging my baby brother, the anticipation was building within me moment by moment while waiting for the car to pull into our long narrow driveway. Without a doubt, I knew the day had finally come that I would have a sister.
My three brothers, Ronnie, Donnie and Rodger, were there that day. But somehow the day appeared to be just an ordinary day to them. Ronnie and Donnie were most likely inside tearing up something, which seemed to be a normal routine for them. They were identical twins, almost three years younger than me. I loved them in my own way, yet at the very same time I resented them. In my eyes they were always the center of attention regardless of what they did or did not do. Everyone was always goo goo over them because they looked just a like. As the jealous sister, I would wonder what in the world was wrong with everyone; had they not seen that they were just two mischievous boys? So they were twins, big deal! As a sibling I truly did not see the uniqueness that everyone else saw….I only saw two irritating brothers. On the other hand, my baby brother Rodger was a sweetheart in my eyes. But, oh how I had wished he had been a girl the day he was born. In fact, to this day I tease him about his curly hair. He is the only one of us kids that was blessed with curls. Therefore, I tell him it’s because he was suppose to be a girl….then I get the look. You know the one!
I was 10 years old when Rodger was born. Already having two brothers who were the best of friends, I longed and wished for a baby sister. When the news came that a new little brother had arrived I was consumed with disappointment. It was as if I had been hit hard in the stomach and could barely breathe. My dad had tricked me, knowing how bad I wanted a sister, he initially told me it was a girl. Then after my excitement, he had to tell me the real truth. But truthfully, once they brought my baby brother home from the hospital and I saw his precious little face so innocently looking up at me, I knew at that very moment that I would love him unconditionally. I became his little mother. When he was old enough to walk and talk he would come into my bedroom at night and ask, “Sissy, can I sleep with you?” And of course I would always agree. We were buddy’s. Basically everywhere you saw me Rodger would typically be in my lap or sitting right next to me. If he got in trouble I would be right there to defend him or pick him up and console his hurt feelings. My mother was forever reprimanding me for taking up for him. I truly couldn’t stand to see my baby brother get into trouble. Obviously, I did spoil him rotten.
For some reason I continued longing to have a sister to play with and to share my deepest secrets with, much like the relationship I had witnessed between the twins. Of course I learned later in life there is a “special bond” that is present between identical twins. Although as a young child I did not understand such a bond. All I knew was… I was the outcast… the odd ball… the only girl… and I really didn’t like it.
As I continued to sit there on the swing that day thoughts ran through my mind as to what my new sister would be like. Oh we had seen each other in our earlier years but it was so brief and seldom we really never had time to get to know one another. I wondered if she was as anxious to have a sister as I was. After all, she had a brother and no sisters; so of course she must be longing for a sister as well.
My mom and dad had driven to Nashville, Tennessee, to load up my Aunt Leona’s belongings and bring her and her two children back to Florida with them. Apparently my aunt had been living in an abusive marriage due to her husband’s excessive drinking. As a result of the abusive lifestyle, my aunt knew she had no choice but to move to Florida where the rest of her family lived. Little did I know my aunt, like my very own father, also struggled with drinking. Both of them liked the bottle a little too much; as did a lot of my relatives.
Finally, the long awaited time had come. The familiar old 1961 green Chevrolet turned into the driveway, pulling behind it a trailer full of the personal belongings of my aunt and her two children. My heart leaped with joy. I could hardly contain myself. At that time I did not realize the brokenness they all must have felt, leaving behind a home, a husband, and a father. All I knew was I would finally have a sister.
As my cousin Diana jumped out of the car we ran to one another and embraced each other tightly. I knew without a doubt, she was my new sister and we both were going to be all right. Her brother Billy, ran to the door calling out for Ronnie and Donnie; anxious to run and play after a long 700 mile trip. So not only did I gain a sister, but I also gained an additional brother, Billy. I have to admit he was a real sweetie….and a cut up to beat the band. There was so much joy in my heart it really didn’t matter anymore how many brothers I had. And now Rodger had another little mother to help spoil him; he for sure didn’t mind all the extra attention.
Only moments later Mama Mac and Daddy Humpy pulled into the driveway. They were anxious to embrace their daughter and make certain she and her two children were alright. How they must have felt knowing their daughter had been living in an abusive marriage, taking beatings from another person who had claimed to love her… and to allow the children to witness such behavior. I can truly say, even to this day, I could not begin to imagine what that lifestyle must have been like for my aunt.
As we all turned and walked into the house, love, happiness and sadness was present in the air. But I was thankful for one thing; although my father liked the bottle he did not physically abuse my mother or any of us children. And as for my new sister, we were going to be just fine and we would be the best sisters anyone could ask for. Little did we know at that moment how much we really had in common. We both lived in a dysfunctional family due to alcohol and we both longed for the comfort of having a sister, a best friend and a confidant.
As time went on Diana and Billy spent a lot of time at our house; sometimes they would stay for weeks at a time. And it was perfectly alright for all of us. Sure we had a house full, but the love we shared was so wonderful we didn’t mind the small living arrangements. At times there were 8 of us in our small little house of only 1100 square feet and 1 small bathroom. But somehow we managed just fine. Isn’t it amazing what love can do….and you never think anything of it? It’s just like air conditioning, we didn’t have any back then and we didn’t miss it a bit. We just turned on all the fans and went on with our lives.
Although many years have now come and gone, Diana and I are still to this day sisters! And yes it’s true, we do have similar childhood stories but we share a love that no one can destroy. In my eyes…she is my big sister…she has been there for me… through the good times…the bad times…the tears…and the laughter. I could never ask for a better sister. I love her dearly.
I must also tell you, I love all 3 of my brothers dearly and I would not trade any one of them for a sister! ….as for Billy…I love him like a brother!
This article is dedicated to: Leona Edna McFarland Laney Ibex (Sept 23,1932 – Dec 6, 1995) My Aunt Leona.
I offer my services to write memoirs and life stories of you and your loved ones. It’s as simple as sitting on a front porch sharing story after story about your life and your loved ones as you relax in a rocking chair, chattering away about what you know best….your loved ones.
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Enjoyed the chat,
Lorraine
Lorraine McFarland lives in Plant City, Florida. She is a professional writer specializing in memoirs, life story writing, and capturing memories of your loved ones.
Copyright, April 2011 by Lorraine McFarland. The author retains sole copyright to her contributions to this article.
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